Thursday, February 20, 2020

Balance

Feel like I am on a train,
my body hurling through time and space
even when I am sitting still.
Been having dizzy spells.
But instead of frightening me,
I enjoy the shift in equilibrium.
Relish each tiny muscle
twitching into action
to reclaim and rename, balance.
Like trees that bend in the wind
so they won't break,
a new kind of trust is forming,
burrowing deeper in my flesh
every time I find myself still standing
after a storm.

I am so utterly intoxicated by each moment,
that the past and future have become fuzzy things.
They dissolve quickly to the touch,
like flaky pastry.
My whole life,
a moving incantation.
Steps rise unbidden to meet my feet.
Sounds pour from my mouth,
and I watch them dance unhinged in the air before me,
swirling into new thoughts and ideas
like incense.
I listen, enchanted,
as if to the advice from an old friend
curious what she will say next.

I have long since lost interest
in the stagnation of keeping up appearances.
Time and energy
too precious, too costly.
I feel the mask slowly slipping,
like wet paint dripping from a wall.
All that is left is my bare face
transparent and visceral,
sinews exposed.
A slow sigh escapes as luxurious space unfurls inside me
and there is no facade left to maintain.

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